If you are a parent of one or more small children that visit a restaurant as
a family and allow your children to "play" with the caddies located on the table
that contain sweeteners (i.e., Sweet and Low, Splenda, Equal, etc.), when the
tots dump the packets on the table and you become embarrassed toward the end of
your meal because there is a pile of these covering the table, please just leave
them there!! I, as a long time server at a family restaurant which has a
significant clientele consisting of families with children, discover after they
have left and the table has been bussed, that the parents have, in a hurry,
stuffed these condiments quite sloppily back into the container thinking they
are helping me. Alas, no!! I am embarrassed by the crinkled paper wads stuffed
into these containers by those who think they are doing me a favor, not to
mention the mess made on the floor.
—Ben the Jammin, Columbia, SC
I have been bartending at a nation-wide wings joint for 4 years, and have
seen about every peeve mentioned here so I had to add 2 more. We have 20 beers
on tap, and the taps are very visible from any seat in the bar. When anyone does
ask what we have on tap, I start spouting them off in order from most expensive
to cheapest. And invariably they let me finish and then say, "I'll have a bud
light" HELLO we have 20 beers did you really not think that we have bud light?
Also, just about every day someone will sit at the bar and ask "Can I order food
here?" This one doesn't even make sense to me, we are a restaurant. I should
start saying, "NO you can't you'll have to go sit at that table 2 feet behind
you. I'll get you your food there!"
—Tatum, Oklahoma City
Don't get me wrong, I love elderly people but dammit, don't empty your
change purse on the table and think it will suffice for some sort of "tip".
This is the year 2006, not 1954. Especially when all you order is a hot tea
and you sit in my section taking up a 2 top for 3 hours.
Pleeeeeease place your frickin' credit card in the slot in the checkbook
marked "Place your charge card here". That's why it's there! Because
otherwise I will have assumed you are paying cash or haven't attempted to
pay me at all unless I see it happen.
If it's visibly very busy, please be patient. Don't ask me where your
food is when it's 3 steps from your table. And don't ask me for a box when I
bring it 2 seconds later saying that now you don't have time to eat it!!!!!
At the end of the night, don't be the douche bag hanging on the bar
asking for "just one more". Take a freaking look at yourself, you alcoholic.
Just because I'm a waitress doesn't mean I respond to snaps, whistles,
pops, clicks, or beeps. I'm not a freaking robot. You're just hurting
yourself in the end anyways.
Be nice to the host. Don't be all up in their faces if you can't get a
table right away, even if you see that some are open. Chances are the more
rude you are, the longer it will take to get you a seat and your service
won't be the best. So don't screw yourself before you've even made it into
the restaurant.
Control your kids. I see it all the time, parents coming in and getting
loaded while their kids do whatever they want. Do I look like I'm here to
babysit? I once had a two year old pick out every packet from the sugar
caddy and lick it and stick it to the table. The sad thing is that she made
it through the whole caddy before her parents even dared to reprimand her.
It's not like I can tell her not to. Pretty much, my place of business is
not your kids' jungle gym....to sum it up.
Don't try to take anything from my tray! There's a balance going on
there and I really don't feel like wearing your cohorts Jaeger bomb.
If I'm required to tell you the specials don't interrupt me rudely and
say "I just want a cheeseburger and fries". Why don't you just go to
McDonalds or at least act like you're eating in a real restaurant.
Monthly
Peeves