While working in a new location for our company in the Charlotte, NC area recently, I saw a woman set herself up for revenge. She arrived at her table and proceeded to ask questions about EVERY ITEM on the menu. The poor server, who had been employed there for only 5 days did his best to deal with her inquiries. She then placed an order for a well-done t-bone and salad. She complained about the lack of Russian dressing in the Italian restaurant, the temperature in the dining room, the color of the carpet, and the noisy children in the lobby. Literally as the salad was being delivered she asked, " Am I every going to get my steak?". The poor server was at his wits end. I assured her that as soon as the steak was prepared to the well-done state she had asked for, it would be brought straight to her. When it arrived, her comment was, "I thought you had to go catch the cow". After devouring the entire entree, she ordered a cup of coffee. While the server was gone to get the item she calmly took a PRE-PRINTED business card from her purse and placed it on the table got up as if to use the restroom and walked out. The car read, "This has been a terrible experience and I do not intend to be treated in this manner". The card was lying next to her cell phone which in her haste had been abandoned on the table. Everyone working that night called everyone they knew including a cooks family in Peru and a host's grandmother in Guam. The next day card lady calls and asks if her phone was turned in. When she was informed that it was and as soon as she settled her bill it would be returned, she hung up and never called back.

The best response ever given to a patron:
Question: Do you serve crackers here?
Answer: Yes, ma'am, we serve everybody!

—Mr. Happy, New York City